Coming to Terms with Cancer
The Annie play week was amazing, but just 3 days later I started to have twinges of pain down my right leg. I've been through this before and know how intricately my right leg pain is connected to my back. I decided I had done too much and tried to take it easy, which is hard to do with so many little ones. Later in the day the twinges became unbearable pain. The closest thing I have to compare it to is labor contractions. I couldn't be up for more than a minute before the horrid pain returned. During this time I started to lose topical feeling from my hip to my knee.
I tried to push through it, all the while taking care of the littles, but I started to worry what damage I might be sustaining. After 3 days of pain, I visited a local ER in the hopes I might be able to get an MRI to see if this might be another disc. The MD's first words to me were: "Let me check your back because we are discharging you." Not terribly helpful. I'm not sure if she thought I was drug seeking or if she thought I was a waste of her time, but no amount of information my mother-in-law or I gave her was enough to convince her I knew what I was talking about.
I felt defeated.
After I returned home, a good friend made some calls to another ER where we had friends working, who actually know me and my situation, and said they would at the very least be able to offer me a CT, pain relief, and a transfer to anywhere I needed, if it came to that. So off we went in search of an answer to this terrible pain. They ran a CT and found I had 3 bulging discs. A bit of pain meds, steroids, an anti-inflammatory and I was on my way home with a referral to see a neurosurgeon. I needed to find a new one, as my 1st one no longer does back surgeries, and my second surgery was an emergency one in Cleveland. Over the course of 2 days I called 20+ neurosurgeons and the soonest I could be seen was 2 weeks.
Thankfully my mom came in to help, as I was of no use to anyone. I was holed up in my bed trying to figure out what to do. I was worried this was heading towards another surgery and I had no idea how I was supposed to recover and still take care of the needs of my family. I was trying not to get ahead of myself, but I was also starting to lose the feeling of needing to use the bathroom. I've been in this situation before, and now coupled with the pain, weakness and numbness in my leg, I was fearing the worst. I called our friend from the ER and he said it was time to go to a larger ER where they have neurosurgeons on staff. My mother-in-law was gracious enough to take me while my mom stayed home and kept down the fort.
God guided me to the right hospital. As soon as we walked in the door I was treated with the concern that my symptoms required. I was soon off to have an MRI which revealed a small tumor on my spine and a herniated disc. I was assured that the tumor was most likely benign and that the disc couldn't be the cause of all of this pain. I was admitted until they figured out what was to happen. I was soon taken for a very intricate MRI of my neck and brain to make sure there were no more tumors, and thankfully it all came back clear.
I came to the hospital on a Monday night and they decided on Wednesday morning they would start with the tumor and see if that relieved my issues. I was thankful we were moving forward and was praying for some relief from the pain. Surgery went well, but pathology came back with a reading of malignant. I didn't find out until we came home that it is actually cancerous. It is a myxopappilary ependymoma, a grade 1 tumor. Basically, a grade 1 is the best cancer to get if you are going to get any, and for that I am thankful! Also, a great deal of the pain and numbness had subsided! I spent a few more days in the hospital recovering and was blessed to hear that my friends and family had gathered together to take care of every need our crazy family could possibly think of. I was blessed with a friend who moved in and has coordinated round the clock care of the littles, and my church stepped up and is providing 5 meals a week for 4 weeks, as I have a lifting restriction for the first 6 weeks.
2 weeks after surgery I met with the neurosurgeon after another MRI and was so pleased to find out they removed ALL of the tumor! I don't have to go back in for another MRI for a year! My type of cancer is non-aggressive and responds really well to treatment. I still have a lot of weakness down my leg, and numbness from my knee to my ankle. He is not sure if this is permanent damage or not. I will have 2 months of physical therapy in hopes of regaining strength and feeling, and relieving the pressure of that herniated disc. I am optimistic it will help, but if not, I will need another back surgery soon.
But for now I rest, recover, and find happiness in many things; my friends & families willingness to sacrifice their time to help, the grade 1 status of my cancer, the fact that they removed it all, the return of feeling from my knee and up, and even the fact that my shower upstairs has handicap bars already installed. The chance to shower on my own was a true blessing during this recovery. I'm not sure what the future holds, by God does, and I think I will leave the worrying up to Him!
I tried to push through it, all the while taking care of the littles, but I started to worry what damage I might be sustaining. After 3 days of pain, I visited a local ER in the hopes I might be able to get an MRI to see if this might be another disc. The MD's first words to me were: "Let me check your back because we are discharging you." Not terribly helpful. I'm not sure if she thought I was drug seeking or if she thought I was a waste of her time, but no amount of information my mother-in-law or I gave her was enough to convince her I knew what I was talking about.
I felt defeated.
After I returned home, a good friend made some calls to another ER where we had friends working, who actually know me and my situation, and said they would at the very least be able to offer me a CT, pain relief, and a transfer to anywhere I needed, if it came to that. So off we went in search of an answer to this terrible pain. They ran a CT and found I had 3 bulging discs. A bit of pain meds, steroids, an anti-inflammatory and I was on my way home with a referral to see a neurosurgeon. I needed to find a new one, as my 1st one no longer does back surgeries, and my second surgery was an emergency one in Cleveland. Over the course of 2 days I called 20+ neurosurgeons and the soonest I could be seen was 2 weeks.
Thankfully my mom came in to help, as I was of no use to anyone. I was holed up in my bed trying to figure out what to do. I was worried this was heading towards another surgery and I had no idea how I was supposed to recover and still take care of the needs of my family. I was trying not to get ahead of myself, but I was also starting to lose the feeling of needing to use the bathroom. I've been in this situation before, and now coupled with the pain, weakness and numbness in my leg, I was fearing the worst. I called our friend from the ER and he said it was time to go to a larger ER where they have neurosurgeons on staff. My mother-in-law was gracious enough to take me while my mom stayed home and kept down the fort.
God guided me to the right hospital. As soon as we walked in the door I was treated with the concern that my symptoms required. I was soon off to have an MRI which revealed a small tumor on my spine and a herniated disc. I was assured that the tumor was most likely benign and that the disc couldn't be the cause of all of this pain. I was admitted until they figured out what was to happen. I was soon taken for a very intricate MRI of my neck and brain to make sure there were no more tumors, and thankfully it all came back clear.
I came to the hospital on a Monday night and they decided on Wednesday morning they would start with the tumor and see if that relieved my issues. I was thankful we were moving forward and was praying for some relief from the pain. Surgery went well, but pathology came back with a reading of malignant. I didn't find out until we came home that it is actually cancerous. It is a myxopappilary ependymoma, a grade 1 tumor. Basically, a grade 1 is the best cancer to get if you are going to get any, and for that I am thankful! Also, a great deal of the pain and numbness had subsided! I spent a few more days in the hospital recovering and was blessed to hear that my friends and family had gathered together to take care of every need our crazy family could possibly think of. I was blessed with a friend who moved in and has coordinated round the clock care of the littles, and my church stepped up and is providing 5 meals a week for 4 weeks, as I have a lifting restriction for the first 6 weeks.
2 weeks after surgery I met with the neurosurgeon after another MRI and was so pleased to find out they removed ALL of the tumor! I don't have to go back in for another MRI for a year! My type of cancer is non-aggressive and responds really well to treatment. I still have a lot of weakness down my leg, and numbness from my knee to my ankle. He is not sure if this is permanent damage or not. I will have 2 months of physical therapy in hopes of regaining strength and feeling, and relieving the pressure of that herniated disc. I am optimistic it will help, but if not, I will need another back surgery soon.
But for now I rest, recover, and find happiness in many things; my friends & families willingness to sacrifice their time to help, the grade 1 status of my cancer, the fact that they removed it all, the return of feeling from my knee and up, and even the fact that my shower upstairs has handicap bars already installed. The chance to shower on my own was a true blessing during this recovery. I'm not sure what the future holds, by God does, and I think I will leave the worrying up to Him!
Talulah recovering with me:
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